Sally Breslin: My Life: A TRIP BACK TO THE 1960S, COURTESY OF MY PERSONAL TIME-MACHINE

One thing about keeping a journal all my life is that it’s like having my own personal time-machine. So the other night I decided to pick a date and look it up in my journals every year from 1964 to 1967. I chose September 21st.

I had no clue if those days would be boring, funny, sad or exciting, but I decided to copy them as they appear, no matter what. So here are the results!

MONDAY, SEPT. 21, 1964

To my embarrassment, word spread around school that Mrs. Thomas [the gym teacher] called me Brigitte Bardot because every time I have to do a stretching exercise in my gym suit, the snaps pop open down the front. When I walked into homeroom this morning, Michael called out, “Hey, Bridge!” and everyone laughed. My face was SO red!

Dee and I walked downtown after school. These two cute guys asked us if we knew how to get to St. Anselm’s College. We had no idea. One guy had dark hair and the other had blonde hair. They were shocked when we told them we were still in high school. The blonde guy seemed to have kind of a dirty mind, but the other guy was OK.

TUESDAY, SEPT. 21, 1965

It was 95 degrees today – too hot to be stuck in school, but I had no choice. It was an unlucky day all around. First I forgot my lunch in the car. Then we had student council elections in homeroom to pick a representative. I was nominated, but lost. Later, I pulled my books out of my locker and dropped them on my big toe. It really hurt. Then I got a 40 on my algebra test! I have NO idea why I have to take algebra anyway. I’d rather learn something useful instead of wasting my time. But every time I see Vlangas [the guidance counselor] he tells me I need algebra to get into college – then he complains about my hair being too long and shaggy. What’s that got to do with anything? Does he think it affects my brain and if I cut it, I’ll suddenly figure out algebra?

Had Westette practice after school, which was a mess. We’re supposed to be a precision drill team and we were all out of step. We’ll be the joke of every football game if we don’t improve…fast. I think drunk people could have kept straighter rows.

Tim [the boy next door] dropped by after I got home. When Mom was out in the kitchen, he tried to kiss me. Some nerve! He’s going steady and I practically am! He knows it, too.

WEDNESDAY, SEPT 21, 1966

Stayed after school to work on the yearbook. It’s slowly starting to come together. Then I walked downtown to meet Don [my boyfriend back then]. Sue and her ex, Ronnie, got into a huge argument in front of the Puritan. Don walked me home and Mom fed us supper. It started to rain out. Mom was going to meet her friend Jane for supper, so she offered to give Don a ride to his part-time job at Chicopee Mill – his first night there. So I was home alone after that. Maureen came over. We ate blueberry muffins and read Tiger Beat magazines. I ended up not going to bed until after midnight because I still had my homework to do after Maureen left. I HATE homework. Isn’t being in school all day enough torture? Why do we have to bring it home with us too?

THURSDAY, SEPT. 21, 1967

(My second week at a local commercial college where I had only one class – computer science – 6 hours per day, 4 days per week. There were 18 in my class.)

I think this was both a “let’s be crazy” and “let’s make a mess” day at school. I was at the keypunch machine, punching cards to feed the computer, when Bruce came up behind me and decided to be funny and typed the word “asshole” on one of my cards! So I had to punch in the info all over again, the jerk! I don’t like to spend much time in the computer room anyway because it has to be so cold in there all the time. It’s like sitting in a fridge.

I ate lunch with Linda and Claudia. Then Bruce and Dick sat with us. Dick spilled his iced coffee all over his lap and everyone teased him about wetting his pants! Back in class, Genney accidentally dropped her lit cigarette on my flowchart papers! I was scared they’d end up going up in flames! Then Linda spilled a Coke all over her books! It was almost like there was some kind of a “dropsy” curse on everyone, no kidding.

At break, Dick, Claudia and I stood by the candy machine and talked. We got on the subject of marriage. Claudia, who’s married, said it’s great. Bruce said it’s for the birds. Dick said it’s like every woman’s goal is to nab a husband, so he tries to avoid any serious relationships. We spent the rest of the afternoon learning the history of IBM and also our specific computers, the 360 and the 1401. I thought it was going to be a huge bore, but it actually was pretty interesting.

Sue and I went downtown after supper. She was wearing her new human-hair fall she paid $84 for! Wow, that’s like two weeks’ pay! It looked really good on her though, until this strong gust of wind blew it all over the place and messed it up. Then it started to rain and she was afraid if it got wet, it would be ruined, so we took the bus home instead of walking. There was a brawl on Elm Street and the paddy wagon came and hauled away the guys who were fighting.

So there you have it! Hate to say it, but I don’t even remember a few of these people I wrote about!

And ironically, not long after I graduated with my degree in computer science and programming, the IBM models I’d learned on became obsolete. So if there was one thing I learned about computers back then, it was that I’d probably have to continue going to school forever to keep up with them…and I really hated school. Needless to say, my days of programming ended when I received my diploma!

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Sally Breslin is an award-winning syndicated humor columnist who has written regularly for newspapers and magazines all of her adult life. She is the author of several novels in a variety of genres, from humor and romance to science-fiction. Contact her at: sillysally@att.net