When I have some rare, leisurely time, I enjoy browsing through the various websites that display what they believe are bad, even terrible, book covers. I especially enjoy reading the humorous comments left by many of the other bad-cover enthusiasts.
So I occasionally like to share some of these covers and comments on here, so my readers hopefully can have a few chuckles, too. And I’ll continue to share them every now and then, until I find one of my own covers on one of the sites (which, as much as I hate to admit it, is a distinct possibility).
So here are just a few of the many recent bad-cover candidates I’ve seen (a few of which had the "honor" of appearing on more than one site!) and some of the comments that were made about them.
(If you need a clearer, more detailed look at the covers, just click on them).
- For a second, I thought she was beating up a cop!
- They could have done a better job at casting the thug for the photo. I think he’s Old Mel, the janitor from the publishing house.
- You have to buy book two to find out how to defend yourself against guys who don’t reside in nursing homes.
- Hey, I would buy that book…and I’m not even a woman!
- “Hello, my Pretty! Come take a bite of my delicious apple!”
- That matador doll on the right looks suspiciously like my missing Cousin Dave.
- Pleasure? As she holds a shrunken head impaled on a skewer?
- She’s wearing a wedding ring, so some lucky guy has to live surrounded by a constant army of applehead dolls.
- Hey, Drena, whatcha been up to lately? “Oh, just making some new friends.”
- Get thee to the bonfire…or else!
- Great cover! A bison, a renaissance fair and an escapee from the annual harvest parade! What more do you need?
- Wonder whose side that very large bison is on?
- Looks like Bigfoot fell into some honey and then rolled in the leaves.
- I can hear the author now…”Who needs an artist to design my cover when I’ve got some stock photos and my Photoshop program? Heck, I’m all set!”
- No wonder the author's name is all blurry - I wouldn't want anyone to know I was associated with this book either!
- My five-year-old drew a picture of his grandpa that looked exactly like this.
- Judging from his expression, this alien obviously couldn’t care less about making contact.
- I’m sure that several minutes of intense artwork were devoted to designing this cover.
- I think he’s saying, “What do you mean I’m an alien? YOU are, not me!”
- Apparently the author has never seen a real dog or cat.
- Neither has the cover illustrator.
- The dog looks as if it mated with an albino bat…or maybe a kangaroo.
- El Chupacabra!
- And now it’s trying to mate with an overfed cat.
- Judging from the cat's expression, I think the dog just succeeded!
- If these two animals walked into the room, I’d run for my life!
- Psychic pets? Would you actually want to know what these two were thinking?
- Conan is wearing a towel?
- Yeah, it’s pretty inconsiderate of that monster to attack him when he just stepped out of the shower.
- Is that teeny sword he’s holding supposed to be big enough to kill – well, whatever that thing is?
- It’s a hippie, mutant ostrich.
- Conan hasn’t aged very well. He looks old and decrepit.
- And in bad need of a manicure.
- Looks like a severely constipated Jim Carrey.
- Or a guy passing a kidney stone.
- Reminds me of that fake-crying face toddlers use.
- This is a perfect cover for this book because my own face looked exactly like that when I was reading it and realized I’d read only 100 pages and still had over 700 left to go.
- Not a bad cover – just a bit cheeky.
- Don’t know on which planet it takes place, but it obviously has two moons.
- He’s wearing a belt, a cross-strap that’s doing nothing, a knife holster...and his woman’s bikini underwear?
- This book is guaranteed to keep you “glute” to the plot!
- The cover really cracks me up (pun intended)!
- Did they have Brazilian butt-lifts back when this book was published?
- I’d immediately pack up and move!
- At least her legs haven’t deteriorated yet.
- That new wrinkle-removing face cream she bought really works!
- Stephen King’s prom date?
- I’ve heard of cheerleaders cutting calories to stay in shape, but I think this one carried things a bit too far.
- Instead of its first word being “Mama,” will it be “Meow-Ma?”
- Is that a tail or a snake?
- I don’t know, but whichever it is, I definitely wouldn’t want to change the diaper!
- Or breast-feed that baby.
- At least potty training would be easy. Just buy it a litter box.
- And a flea collar.
- On the bright side, you’d never have to worry about mice in the house.
- Or the kid begging you for a dog.
Well, that's all for now - I won't torture you any longer. Here's hoping you had at least a couple of chuckles while looking at these! If you scroll down past all of the free e-books below, you can leave comments about which book(s) you thought had the worst cover - or even the best! I'd love to know!
Sally Breslin is an award-winning syndicated humor columnist who has written regularly for newspapers and magazines all of her adult life. She is the author of several novels in a variety of genres, from humor and romance to science-fiction. Contact her at: sillysally@att.net.
