When I have some rare, leisurely time, I enjoy browsing through the various websites that display what they believe are bad, even terrible, book covers. I especially enjoy reading the humorous comments left by many of the other bad-cover enthusiasts.
So I occasionally like to share some of these covers and comments on here, so my readers hopefully can have a few chuckles, too. And I’ll continue to share them every now and then, until I find one of my own covers on one of the sites (which, as much as I hate to admit it, is a distinct possibility).
So here are just a few of the many recent bad-cover candidates I’ve seen (a few of which had the "honor" of appearing on more than one site!) and some of the comments that were made about them.
- For a second, I thought she was beating up a cop!
- They could have done a better job at casting the thug for the photo. I think he’s Old Mel, the janitor from the publishing house.
- You have to buy book two to find out how to defend yourself against guys who don’t reside in nursing homes.
- Hey, I would buy that book…and I’m not even a woman!
- “Hello, my Pretty! Come take a bite of my delicious apple!”
- That matador doll on the right looks suspiciously like my missing Cousin Dave.
- Pleasure? As she holds a shrunken head impaled on a skewer?
- She’s wearing a wedding ring, so some lucky guy has to live surrounded by a constant army of applehead dolls.
- Hey, Drena, whatcha been up to lately? “Oh, just making some new friends.”
- Get thee to the bonfire…or else!
- Great cover! A bison, a renaissance fair and an escapee from the annual harvest parade! What more do you need?
- Wonder whose side that very large bison is on?
- Looks like Bigfoot fell into some honey and then rolled in the leaves.
- I can hear the author now…”Who needs an artist to design my cover when I’ve got some stock photos and my Photoshop program? Heck, I’m all set!”
- No wonder the author's name is all blurry - I wouldn't want anyone to know I was associated with this book either!
- My five-year-old drew a photo of his grandpa that looked exactly like this.
- Judging from his expression, this alien obviously couldn’t care less about making contact.
- I’m sure that several minutes of intense artwork were devoted to designing this cover.
- I think he’s saying, “What do you mean I’m an alien? YOU are, not me!”
- Apparently the author has never seen a real dog or cat.
- Neither has the cover illustrator.
- The dog looks as if it mated with an albino bat…or maybe a kangaroo.
- El Chupacabra!
- And now it’s trying to mate with an overfed cat.
- Judging from the cat's expression, I think the dog just succeeded!
- If these two animals walked into the room, I’d run for my life!
- Psychic pets? Would you actually want to know what these two were thinking?
- Conan is wearing a towel?
- Yeah, it’s pretty inconsiderate of that monster to attack him when he just stepped out of the shower.
- Is that teeny sword he’s holding supposed to be big enough to kill – well, whatever that thing is?
- It’s a hippie, mutant ostrich.
- Conan hasn’t aged very well. He looks old and decrepit.
- And in bad need of a manicure.
- Looks like a severely constipated Jim Carrey.
- Or a guy passing a kidney stone.
- Reminds me of that fake-crying face toddlers use.
- This is a perfect cover for this book because my own face looked exactly like that when I was reading it and realized I’d read only 100 pages and still had over 700 left to go.
- Not a bad cover – just a bit cheeky.
- Don’t know on which planet it takes place, but it obviously has two moons.
- He’s wearing a belt, a cross-strap that’s doing nothing, a knife holster...and his woman’s bikini underwear?
- This book is guaranteed to keep you “glute” to the plot!
- The cover really cracks me up (pun intended)!
- Did they have Brazilian butt-lifts back when this book was published?
- I’d immediately pack up and move!
- At least her legs haven’t deteriorated yet.
- That new wrinkle-removing face cream she bought really works!
- Stephen King’s prom date?
- I’ve heard of cheerleaders cutting calories to stay in shape, but I think this one carried things a bit too far.
- Instead of its first word being “Mama,” will it be “Meow-Ma?”
- Is that a tail or a snake?
- I don’t know, but whichever it is, I definitely wouldn’t want to change the diaper!
- Or breast-feed that baby.
- At least potty training would be easy. Just buy it a litter box.
- And a flea collar.
- On the bright side, you’d never have to worry about mice in the house.
- Or the kid begging you for a dog.
Well, that's all for now - I won't torture you any longer. Here's hoping you had at least a couple of chuckles while looking at these! If you scroll down past all of the free e-books below, you can leave comments about which book(s) you thought had the worst cover - or even the best! I'd love to know!
Sally Breslin is an award-winning syndicated humor columnist who has written regularly for newspapers and magazines all of her adult life. She is the author of several novels in a variety of genres, from humor and romance to science-fiction. Contact her at: sillysally@att.net.
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