If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the Internet, it’s that you never know what you’re going to find on there.
The other day on Facebook, for example, in addition to a zillion close-up photos of people's dinners, kids and grandkids; diabolical political-plot theories, and volumes of AI-generated “real” clips of dogs with three heads and babies doing cartwheels, some woman posted a list of the things that make her happy. She asked others to pass the list along after adding their own “happy things” to it. Her goal, she said, was to spread happiness to as many people as humanly possible.
Well, although I admire her efforts, I think maybe I’m getting a little too cynical and crotchety in my old age, because all I could think about while reading her “things that make me happy” list was she must be only about 20 years old and a direct descendant of Mary Poppins. I also thought about how, when she gets to be my age, her perspective drastically will change.
So, as she requested, I am going to add my own “happy things” in response to her list.
Here goes...
SHE’S HAPPY…To wake up in the morning, see the sun streaming in through the window, and then make plans for a fresh new day.
I’M HAPPY…To wake up.
SHE’S HAPPY…To look in the bathroom mirror and smile at her reflection, telling herself that although she's not a raving beauty, she's still special.
I’M HAPPY…To look in the bathroom mirror and find it so splattered with soap and toothpaste, I no longer can see my reflection and scare myself.
SHE’S HAPPY…To take a warm, relaxing bath when she feels tense.
I’M HAPPY...When I have enough hot water to soak anything higher than my bunions.
SHE’S HAPPY...To share a nourishing breakfast with her family.
I’M HAPPY...To find at least one slice of bread without any green on it so I can pop it into the toaster.
SHE’S HAPPY...To see beautiful, delicate snowflakes floating past her window.
I’M HAPPY...To have memorized the phone number of a good chiropractor so I can use it after I’ve finished shoveling three tons of those beautiful, delicate snowflakes.
SHE’S HAPPY...To answer her phone and hear the voice of a dear friend.
I’M HAPPY…To answer the phone and discover it’s not some guy with a heavy accent trying to convince me there’s something wrong with an order I never made and they’ll be sure to straighten it out right away if I give them my credit-card number and password, my social-security number, date of birth, blood type, and the name of my first-grade teacher.
SHE’S HAPPY...To occasionally treat herself to a pretty new dress that makes her feel oh-so-feminine.
I’M HAPPY...When sweatpants and thermal underwear go on sale.
SHE’S HAPPY...To generously make regular donations to charity.
I’M HAPPY...If after I finish paying all of the monthly bills, I have any money left that actually folds, not jingles.
SHE’S HAPPY...To lie in bed and listen to the rain gently falling on the roof.
I’M HAPPY... To lie in bed and not get splashed between the eyes by the rain gently leaking through the roof.
SHE’S HAPPY...To plant a garden in her yard and watch all of the lovely flowers bloom.
I’M HAPPY...I’ve finally developed an immunity to poison ivy.
SHE’S HAPPY...To treat herself to a nice fresh apple or orange, and savor each bite.
I’M HAPPY...To treat myself to a pound of M&Ms and one of every variety of donut sold at Dunkin’ Donuts.
SHE’S HAPPY...To step outside and take a nice deep breath of fresh, crisp air.
I’M HAPPY...To still be breathing.
SHE’S HAPPY...When she receives a handmade gift from one of her children.
I’M HAPPY...When my dogs don’t leave me any “gifts”…especially on the carpet.
SHE’S HAPPY...To walk barefoot through the grass and feel its softness between her toes.
I’M HAPPY...(See my previous answer about the dogs, and substitute “lawn” for “carpet”).
SHE’S HAPPY...To hear the sweet songs of the birds in the trees.
I’M HAPPY...When all of the squawking crows and blue jays get laryngitis.
SHE’S HAPPY...To share all of her cheerful, happy thoughts with the rest of the world via social media.
I’M HAPPY...She hasn’t been cloned.
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Sally Breslin is an award-winning syndicated humor columnist who has written regularly for newspapers and magazines all of her adult life. She is the author of several novels in a variety of genres, from humor and romance to science-fiction. Contact her at: sillysally@att.net.
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