Ever since I became a widow, I have been amazed at how some
people’s perception of me has changed so dramatically.
For some reason, men think I must be terribly lonely, hate
sleeping alone and am desperate for male companionship. And a lot of women,
including a couple of my friends, think I’m going to lust after their
husbands because I no longer have one of my own.
One incident, right after I was widowed, where the husband of one of my old
high-school friends told her he didn’t want her to hang around with me any more
because I might put “single” ideas into her head, shocked me so much, I immediately called my cousin, who’s been a widow for
years, to tell her about it. I fully expected her to gasp in horror.
“Oh, that doesn’t surprise me,” she said matter-of-factly.
“It’s happened to me more than once.
When my husband passed away, I apparently transformed overnight into
some man-hungry husband stealer in everyone’s eyes. So, until you get a new man
in your life, expect some of your married friends to treat you as if you have
the plague.”
I laughed at the absurdity of her words. I mean, how, I wondered, could
anyone seriously think of me as a potential husband snatcher?
“That’s crazy!” I said. “I’m not 21! I’m old enough to be a great-grandmother! My dog
is more of a femme fatale than I am!”
Maybe if I resembled someone like Cher, who’s even older
than I am, I could understand it, but the only thing I have in common with Cher
is we’re both female.
And let’s face it, when I was looking at myself in the
mirror the other night, I realized that if my body were a map, the parts that
used to be up near Maine are now somewhere down around Georgia, and they’re
rapidly heading toward Florida. No, make that Cuba.
So there definitely is no threat that I’ll attract anyone’s
husband – not unless the guy has a severe case of cataracts – or he's a cosmetic
surgeon.
On one of my Facebook posts, I happened to mention my
cousin’s statement about how some people think of widows as desperate, love-starved
husband stealers.
My longtime friend, Carole, responded with, “Heck, if you
want my husband, you can have him!
Now that's what I call a true friend...I think.
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