I'm currently in the process of turning my 35,000-word "novella" into a full-fledged novel. At the moment, I'm on word number 122,300. By the time I'm through, the book probably will use up all of the free memory in my computer and take about a year to read from cover to cover.
But I'm feeling so creative right now, I just can't seem to stop writing or finally reach the part where I feel satisfied enough to type "THE END."
I've heard if you read your novel out loud you can tell if it flows well and the dialogue sounds realistic. So the other night I sat down and read nine chapters out loud. I would have read more, but my voice waved the white flag of surrender and threatened to go on strike.
And I still have 26 chapters left to go.
Back then, I was working on a book that had a young, handsome, muscular Native American guy as the hero, so I thought the cover should feature an image of him to attract readers.
My current book is about an extraterrestrial from a moon near Jupiter who is visiting New Hampshire, so I doubt I'll ever be able to find anyone who even remotely resembles him to pose for my cover.
My high-school English teacher always used to tell me, "When you write, pretend you are describing everything to a blind person. Paint a picture with words!”
Easier said than done, I soon discovered. When I’m writing something, I can see it clearly in my own mind, but the only way I can tell if the reader also will be able to see my vision just as clearly is to actually test it out on someone.
My late husband always was my way of testing my writing. Believe me, I really could use him right about now.
For example, I would say to him, “If I write ‘The boss assumed an authoritative stance, his arms folded across his chest, his feet braced apart,’ what do you picture?”
My husband would stand and duplicate the exact position I had envisioned. So then I'd know it was good.
“How about 'His hand cupped the side of her face'?” I'd then ask him.
He would put his hand against the side of his face…and then flutter his eyelashes.
I really didn’t need the added effects.
I remember once having trouble describing the lead character putting his palms together with his fingertips touching. Finally, I came up with what I thought was the perfect description: "He steepled his fingers and rested his chin on them." Then I held my breath as I asked my husband if it made sense. He put his hands together and did exactly what I'd hoped he would.
“You’re not going to write about doing cartwheels in the nude or anything like that, are you?” he then asked. “That’s where I draw the line!”
My husband did have problems with my requests for facial expressions, however. When I'd ask him for a "melancholy" or maybe a "disparaging" look, the response usually would be a completely blank stare because he had no idea what the heck I was talking about.
"Can you translate those into simple English?" he'd ask.
But where, I wondered, would I ever find someone to match that description? I mentioned it to one of my friends, a fellow writer, and he told me about a website that sold royalty-free stock photos on any subject imaginable. He said they had thousands of photos on the site, so there was bound to be something I could use. I looked up the website and under “search” entered: “Handsome, young Native-American males.”
The sample photos I received bore no resemblance whatsoever to the warrior in my book. Most of the men were at least in their late fifties, and were pot-bellied and wrinkled. Several even were blondes with blue eyes.
“Heck,” my husband said when I showed him the photos, “Even I look more like the guy in your book than these guys do! Maybe you should just buy me a loincloth and have me pose for the cover!”
I frowned at him. “You’re Irish! You don't look any more Native American than our rottweiler does!"
That same weekend, there just happened to be a Native-American inter-tribal pow-wow being held right in my town. So I grabbed my camera and decided to go check it out.
My husband eyed my camera suspiciously as I was heading out the door.
“Don’t tell me you’re going over there to try to find some muscle-bound hunk to pose for your book!” he said. “The poor guy will think you’re one of those old ladies who chases young guys – what do they call them? Bobcats?”
“You mean cougars?” I shook my head and sighed. “I don’t care what the guy thinks. If he resembles my vision of the Native-American warrior in my book, I’m not going to leave there until I get his consent to take his photo!”
As it turned out, by the time I arrived at the pow-wow, late as usual, hardly anyone was there other than two older men who were dressed in Native-American regalia and demonstrating traditional dances. So I never did manage to get the cover shot I'd longed for.
On the other hand, after looking at the current hairstyles, makeup and fashion 
trends on social media the other day...there just might be hope.
# # #
Sally Breslin is a native New Englander and an award-winning syndicated humor columnist who has written regularly for newspapers and magazines all of her adult life. She is the author of several novels in a variety of genres, from humor and romance to science-fiction. Contact her at: sillysally@att.net
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READERS, I DESPERATELY NEED YOUR OPINION! IS THE COVER BELOW MORE APPEALING AND EYE-CATCHING THAN THE CARTOON ONE PICTURED AT THE TOP RIGHT OF THIS PAGE? I CAN'T DECIDE WHETHER TO CHANGE THIS BOOK'S COVER OR NOT!
PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VOTE BELOW, NEXT TO "ENTER COMMENT." I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT! THANKS! 💗
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