There was someone banging on my front door at 7:30 the other morning. Usually, if I’m not expecting guests (or a repairman), I won’t answer. But when the banging continued, I opened the door just a crack and peeked out.
Immediately, two short, stocky bodies lunged at me. I slammed the door just in time.
It was the neighbors’ two dogs – bulldog/beagle mixes – the same two dogs that seem determined to turn my leg into a food item…like maybe shredded wheat.
When they continued to head-butt my door, I opened it just a crack again and shouted, "Go home!" in what I hoped sounded mean and authoritative.
To my relief, they dashed off my porch…and then proceeded to stand in my driveway and bark at my house for 10 more minutes.
By then, my own two dogs were in their full, “Let us at ‘em! We'll protect you!" mode. It took me an hour to calm them down.
So when I went for my walk later that day and saw the neighbor out on his lawn, I stopped to have a little chat with him about his dogs. He apologized and said his young daughters kept letting them loose, so he'd just invested in an invisible fence to keep the dogs in his yard. I guess he figured that if his daughters can’t see the fence, then they won’t be able to tamper with it. He also mentioned he’d discovered a deer trail loaded with deer poop that leads directly from behind his house to my driveway, and that's why the dogs keep ending up on my lawn.
Oh, great.
As I left to continue my walk, he promised me his dogs never would set foot/paws on my property again.
During the remainder of my walk, I passed a house at the top of the hill that reminded me of how reliable invisible fences are.
There used to be a beagle named Newman that lived there. Every time someone walked (rode a bike, jogged, breathed) by his house, Newman would come charging out, barking as if he were a Rottweiler. But when he reached the edge of the property, he’d come to a screeching halt. I could tell by his bulky collar that his yard had an invisible fence surrounding it. One paw across that fence-line and the collar would deliver a not-so-pleasant zap to the dog.
So I wasn’t nervous about walking past Newman because I knew the invisible fence would protect me. And it did...until one fateful summer day.
I was walking my Doberman, Molly, at the time. She and Newman previously had never met, so when he came charging toward us, the fur stood up on the back of Molly's neck and she assumed her best "ready for battle" pose. I wasn’t concerned because I knew when Newman reached the invisible fence, he'd stop dead in his tracks. But just to be safe, I steered Molly over to the other side of the road.
 |
| REASONABLE FACSIMILE OF NEWMAN |
Newman came at us at full speed, barking and growling all the way. As Molly and I continued walking, I could hear Newman.
“BARK! BARK! BARK!" Then “YEOWWWL!" and “BARK! BARK! BARK!” again.
But those last three barks were close, like directly behind us. Newman had thrown all caution to the wind and actually crossed the invisible fence-line.
Getting zapped didn’t exactly sweeten his disposition. He sounded more like a rabid bear than a beagle when he caught up with us. Even Molly backed away from him when he lunged at us (great protector she turned out to be).
Then, just in the nick of time, a teenage girl came running out of the yard and yelled at Newman to come to her.
When he ignored her and continued his tirade, she ran out onto the road and picked him up. Then, holding him in her arms and tightly against her chest, she dashed back toward the house.
I wanted to warn her that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to be holding him so close to her body while he still was wearing a collar that was going to zap him when they crossed over the fence-line again. But before I even could open my mouth, I heard her scream and saw her drop Newman.
Would he, I wondered, cross that line again and get zapped for the third time?
The answer was a resounding yes.
After that, there was no keeping Newman in his yard. He obviously had figured out that briefly getting shocked was worth the pain if it meant he could run free throughout the neighborhood and wreak havoc the rest of the day.
Which he did…until the police received so many complaints they finally did something about it. Rumor has it they handcuffed one of the owners and hauled him or her down to the station and issued a hefty fine.
But that’s just hearsay.
Still, I never saw Newman again.
So do I have faith that my neighbors’ invisible fence will succeed in keeping his dogs off my property?
Let’s
just say I probably should have a chat with the deer and ask them to re-route
their trail…to Canada.
# # #
Sally Breslin is a native New Englander and an award-winning syndicated humor columnist who has written regularly for newspapers and magazines all of her adult life. She is the author of several novels in a variety of genres, from humor and romance to science-fiction. Contact her at: sillysally@att.net
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