So far, this summer has been less than thrilling as far as the weather goes.
June delivered so much torrential rain, my basement probably will remain damp until winter…when it will transform into an ice cave.
And my lawn is sprouting a variety of mushrooms and toadstools. If some of them were edible, it might not be so bad, but I can’t tell the difference between a poisonous mushroom and a gourmet one. I do, however, remember that whenever my grandmother saw a fly or two in her house, she would pick some kind of mushroom out on her land, chop it up with a little bit of milk in a bowl, and set it on the windowsill. The next day, it would be full of fly corpses.
With my luck, those would be the mushrooms I’d pick to add to my spaghetti sauce.
But lately, the rain has let up and now we are suffering from temperatures hotter than the surface of the sun, with humidity so high, my skin creates a suction with everything it touches…especially my underwear. Taking it off is like trying to peel a lumpy banana.
Still, I’m cheap when it comes to using electricity and running up a high electric bill, so I usually will suffer with the heat and humidity until I’m on the verge of melting into a greasy puddle of fat before I will resort to using a fan or the central air-conditioning.
Yesterday, however, I reached my limit and surrendered, turning on both the ceiling fan and the central air. At the time, the temperature in the house was 85-F degrees with about 200-percent humidity.
Two hours later, the temperature was three degrees higher.
Something obviously was wrong. The A/C was blowing hot air.
My first thought was “Aaargh! I'm wasting precious electricity for nothing!" My second thought was, “Here we go again!”
My central air-conditioning unit is one of those clunky box-shaped things that sits on the ground at the side of the house. And because it sits on the ground, it attracts a variety of critters and insects that are searching for new homes. So more than once my unit has been transformed into a mouse condo. And mice love to redecorate – by chewing the wires.
So whenever my air-conditioner stops working, I already know the cause and the price to fix it…about $350…because I've had to pay it just about every year since I had the system installed, thanks to a bunch of annoying rodent squatters.
But this year I've decided I'm not going to bother. I'll just sweat it out. Let the mice have their condo. Let the chipmunks and wasps move in, too, and all have one big party. I’m keeping my $350 this time, even if I leave a trail of perspiration everywhere I walk throughout the house.
This morning, out of curiosity, I grabbed a flashlight and went out to check inside the air-conditioning unit, just to see what was living in it. When I rounded the corner from the back of the house and spotted the unit, I burst out laughing.
The reason why it wasn’t working wasn't because of mice this time. It was because of someone with a mouse-sized brain.
That would be me.
Last fall, I wrapped the unit in a protective plastic covering all the way down to the ground and secured it with bungee cords and a big rock on top to protect it from the harsh winter elements.
Then I forgot to uncover it.
That probably explains why it was blowing only hot air. The poor thing was suffocating.
I quickly released it from its plastic prison and then ran into the house and turned it on, all the while praying I hadn't killed it when I’d previously let it run for a few hours when it was still wrapped up tighter than a mummy. Within minutes, to my relief, cool air was filling the house.
So I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts because past experience has taught me that now that the air-conditioner is uncovered, the mice already are packing up their tiny moving vans and are forming a convoy heading in this direction...to the Breslin summer condo.
# # #
I DID IT!
I did it! I wrote and published the corniest summer romance novel in the history of summer romances! It’s squeaky clean, predictable and is based on true events I experienced during the 10-plus wild and wacky years I spent working in the secret-shopper industry for three different market-research firms. Yes, I actually got paid to do crazy things like shoplift and be the hotel guest from Hell!
And I even drew the book’s cover myself – which is why the main characters have no faces and the groceries are grouped on the shelves with products they never would be grouped with in a real grocery store.
And in case you’re wondering what this cover is all about...Rachel, the lead character, who is a secret shopper, is assigned to fake a faint in a grocery store because the owner wants to test how his employees will handle an ill customer.
Alas, a doctor (young and handsome, of course) also happens to be shopping there on his way home from the clinic and rushes to Rachel’s aid, nearly ruining the whole scenario.
But heck, she can forgive him because after all, he’s a hunk…and a doctor.
Click below to check it out and read the free sample:
Fate Is Worth the Wait on Amazon
Fate Is Worth the Wait on Smashwords
FREE E-BOOKS!
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