If
there’s one thing I think this era of cell phones, computers and smartphones
has destroyed, it’s the challenge of entering radio contests.
Back
before the digital age, winning a radio contest took a lot of skill and
brainwork because there was no convenient place to look up an answer to a
contest question unless you called the local library’s information desk, which
wasn’t exactly a speedy process.
I can’t count the number of times back in the
1970s when I would be listening to my car radio and the DJ would ask a contest
question that offered a great prize. And lo and behold, I’d know the answer.
The problem was, by the time I found a pay phone, dug out some change, then
listened to the phone company’s recorded “welcome” speech before getting
connected to the radio station, the contest winner already would be boarding a
plane for his all-expense paid trip to Hawaii.
I also
remember sending postcards to win radio contests. The trick to winning one of
those prizes, I learned, was to send a bunch of postcards right before the
contest’s deadline so they would end up on top in the mail sacks.
There
also were the, “If you’re the first caller,” contests, for which I learned
another trick. First of all, a phone with a dial (no push-buttons) was
required. I would dial the station’s phone number but hold the last digit of it
in place and not let the dial go until the contest was announced. This often meant
sitting with my finger stuck in the dial for an hour at a time because back
then, the phone company didn’t cut you off if you didn’t complete a call. So
more often than not, I was the first caller and won some nice prizes.
I’ll
never forget the time I was driving to the post office and one of the radio
stations played a lyric from Long Cool Woman by the Hollies. The
lyric was difficult to understand and constantly was the subject of
misinterpretation, so the disc jockey offered a prize (a generous gift certificate
to a nice restaurant) to the first person who called with the correct wording.
Well, it
just so happened I knew the lyric: “Just a five-nine beautiful tall.”
The
calls poured in to the radio station, and I listened with amusement as one
contestant after another murdered the lyric.
“Such a
fine, fine beautiful doll,” said one.
“Some
wine in a beautiful mall,” guessed another.
By the
time I arrived at the post office, the contest still hadn’t been won.
“Mike!”
I shouted at the postal clerk the minute I entered. “Call this number and say
these exact words: ‘Just a five-nine beautiful tall!’”
Mike
stared at me with an expression that told me he thought I either was speaking
in Vulcan or I was running some kind of illegal operation that required a secret
password.
There
were no other customers in the post office, so I urged him, “Go on, just DO it!
Hurry!”
He
dialed the number, and when the disc jockey answered, Mike repeated, just as
I’d instructed, “Just a five-nine beautiful tall,” though he had absolutely no
idea why.
“Congratulations!”
the disc jockey shouted. “You’ve just won a gift certificate to Angelo’s
Italian Restaurant! Now tell all our listeners, what is your favorite
radio station for great music and great prizes?”
Panic
swept over Mike’s face as he covered the phone and whispered to me, “What radio
station is this?”
I
shrugged. “I forgot!”
When
Mike stammered and came up with no answer, the disc jockey said, “It’s a good
thing I’m taping this – I can edit out that part before I air it!”
Mike
hung up the phone and grinned at me. “Gee, thanks, Sally! My wife and I love
Angelo’s, especially their lasagna! The guy said they’ll send out the
certificate to me right away!”
Fifty
years later, I’m still waiting for my invitation to join him and his wife for
that dinner.
Yep, I
sure do miss those old radio contests.
# # #
Sally Breslin is
an award-winning syndicated humor columnist who has written regularly for
newspapers and magazines all of her adult life. She is the author of several
novels in a variety of genres, from humor and romance to science fiction.
Contact her at: sillysally@att.net
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| THIS IS AN OLD TOP-30 SHEET FEATURING ME AFTER I WON A WARDROBE AT A LOCAL DEPT. STORE! |
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