Monday, November 19, 2018

I'M LOVING MY BRUSHED MICRO-FLEECE BED SHEETS...TOO MUCH!



I have bought so many different brands and types of bed sheets over the years, if I tied all of them together, I could use them to rappel down Mount Everest.

When I was a newlywed, I bought a set of black satin sheets, thinking they would add a romantic touch to the bedroom.  They turned out to be so slippery, I didn't dare wear a silky nightgown when I jumped into bed, for fear I'd end up on the bathroom floor.

I later got into a phase where I enjoyed the feel of crisp, cotton sheets and pillowcases.  My husband, however, didn't share my fondness for them.

"They're like sleeping on cardboard!" he complained one morning. "They feel like those sheets hospitals use. And look at my face!"

He had a series of lines across one cheek that made him look as if someone had been playing tic-tac-toe on it as he slept.

"These lines are from all of the wrinkles in my stiff pillowcase pressing into my skin all night!" he said.

Before I could comment, he added, "And the sheets are noisy!  Whenever I roll over, they sound like someone's crumpling newspaper!"

So I switched to a softer cotton, which he liked, but I didn't.  Every time I washed them in hot water, they seemed to shrink a size. 

It got to the point where the elasticized bottom sheet wouldn't even stay on the mattress any more.  Whenever one of us rolled over, the corners of the sheet would spring up at us, as if it were an attack sheet.  I expected to wake up one morning completely wrapped up in it…like a giant taco.

The sheets my husband and I finally both mutually liked were made of flannel.  They were soft.  They were cozy.  They were warm in the winter and surprisingly cool in the summer. 

The only problem was they were lint magnets.  They ended up gathering more "pills" than a pharmacy.  After a while, lying on them was like lying on a bed of goosebumps.

"Maybe you should use that clothes-shaver gadget to get rid of all these lint balls," my husband said one morning as he was lying in bed, staring at the collection of white bumps that resembled constellations all over the blue sheet.

"I'd have to spend a week shaving it!" I said. "Those little shavers are meant for sweaters and socks, not for something the size of a car."

Then came the answer to all of our problems…micro-fleece sheets.  They were softer than flannel, lightweight, and best of all, they didn't gather lint.  Washing them also was heavenly because they came out of the washer practically dry.

I was so excited about the mirco-fleece sheets, I bought them in plaids, florals, stripes and solid colors. 


I even bought myself some micro-fleece pajamas.  I soon discovered, however, that the two micro-fleeces stuck together like Velcro.  Whenever I wanted to roll over, I had to lift my body off the bed and fling myself onto my side.  By morning, my pajama tops usually were bunched up like a scarf, somewhere around my chin.

Still, I loved the micro-fleece sheets and thought they were the ultimate in comfort.

That is, until I discovered something even softer and more comfy…brushed micro-fleece (also called microplush by some companies)

Brushed micro-fleece was thicker than regular micro-fleece and felt like angora.  It was like sleeping on a cloud. Even my husband raved.

But his raving was short-lived.  "These sheets are way too comfortable!" he complained one frigid Monday morning. "I can't force myself to get out of bed any more.  They're making me late for everything!"

I didn't want to admit it, but I was having the same problem.  Something about the brushed micro-fleece made my body scream, "No!  Don't make me leave this cozy warmth and go out into the cold, cruel world!  Let me just stay here curled up in bed all day!"

I actually slept until 4:00 one afternoon.

I hate to say it, but unless I want to end up hibernating like a big old bear all winter, I may have to go dig out the cardboard sheets again.

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