It's funny how the best-laid plans always seem to have a way
of going wrong.
Take, for example, my floors.
From the day construction first began on our new house back
in early 2007, I knew I wanted wood-laminate flooring rather than
hardwood. The main reason was 220
pounds of Rottweilers running rampant in the house. I had visions of hardwood with claw marks the size of canals embedded in them after only the first day.
Also, Rottweilers are chronic droolers, so I knew I needed a
floor that could withstand constant slobbering.
I researched laminate flooring online and checked out the
customers' feedback for each brand. I also went to building supply stores and
got floor samples…which I then proceeded to attack. I stomped on them, tap danced on them, scratched them with my car
keys and rubbed them against concrete. I then poured water on them and let the water sit there overnight. The only brand that passed most of my tests was Armstrong laminate
at about $3.50 a square foot.
So I decided I would buy Armstrong flooring, and I
faithfully stuck with that decision…until the middle of 2009, when I realized
that all of the construction delays, problems and added expenses our house-to-be had undergone had
drastically reduced my flooring budget to only about $1.50 per square foot. For that price, I figured I'd be lucky if I
could afford a roll of second-hand linoleum.
So I returned to the building-supply store and brought home
some floor samples within my price range.
Not one of them passed my torture test.
Not only did they stain and scratch, they peeled faster than a banana in
a cage full of monkeys.
Needless to say, I was becoming discouraged.
So I checked out a few more web sites that sold flooring,
and after searching through their products for about a half-hour, I found what
I thought was the perfect wood-laminate flooring...Dream Home Nirvana Mountain
Pine with the padding already attached, complete with a 25-year warranty.
The reviews from customers were so positive, they couldn't
rave enough about the stuff. If
flooring could be nomimanted for sainthood, I seriously think they'd have done
it. They described it as rich, realistic-looking and indestructible. They also
said it camouflaged dirt and dog fur.
Just the part about the dog fur was enough to sell me on the
product, but even better, it was only $1.59 per square foot. Before I allowed myself to get too excited,
however, I had to find out if a sample of the flooring could pass my rigorous
testing. At that price, I honestly expected it to fall apart if I breathed on
it.
To my delight, the sample looked just like a real pine
plank, complete with knots and all. I
immediately began torturing it. I put
on high heels and stomped on it. I
rubbed it with fine sandpaper. I dug my
car key into it and dragged it across the sample. I even did the overnight water test on it.
The next morning the sample still looked great. So I bought over 1700 square feet of it.
After it was installed, I stood there just staring in awe at
it. It was a masterpiece, a thing of
beauty. It looked just like real wood. It was perfect, especially for the rustic farmhouse-style decor I wanted.
And after all these years, the floor still has held up
magnificently. My dogs have done everything short of
giving birth on it, yet it looks brand new, not even a scratch. And it really does camouflage dirt
and dog fur. It also camouflages just about anything I drop on it. There could
be a body lying on it somewhere and I'd never know it.
Alas, a couple months ago, I received a court document
informing me that everyone who purchased my particular brand of flooring
between 2009-2010 was entitled to a portion of a multi-million-dollar
class-action lawsuit because the flooring’s formaldehyde levels had been deemed toxic.
My first thought was, “It took them all this time to tell me
that my flooring is toxic? I could have dropped dead by now!”
My second thought was, “Hey...I’m going to be getting some
money!”
# #
#
Footnote: Through
research (after initially panicking and considering ripping out all of my
flooring and replacing it) I learned that the levels of formaldehyde rapidly
decrease by the second year, and subsequently vanish after that. And if the
flooring was aired out prior to being installed, the levels would be
insignificant. I was fortunate to have had a contractor who insisted that my flooring be removed from its boxes
and allowed to breathe and expand in the garage for a few weeks before he
installed it. Bless him!
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