MORE REALISTICALLY LOOKING AT HAPPINESS

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Facebook, it’s that you never know what you’re going to find on there. In addition to a zillion close-up photos of people's dinners, kids and grandkids, along with volumes of inspirational messages and quotes, there are a lot of things people ask you to pass on to others – usually to no fewer than 10 friends.

The other day, a woman posted a list of the things that make her happy. She asked others to pass it along and add their own “happy things” to the list. Her goal, she said, was to spread happiness to as many people as humanly possible.

 Well, although I admire her efforts, I think maybe I’m getting a little too cynical and crotchety in my old age, because all I could think about while reading her “things that make me happy” list was she must be only about 20 years old…and related to Mary Poppins.

So, as she requested, I am going to add my own “happy things” to her list.  But I have the feeling I’m going to be a lot more realistic about all of this happy stuff.

Here goes:

           

SHE’S HAPPY:     To wake up each morning, see the sun streaming in through her bedroom window and start a fresh new day. 

I’M HAPPY:       To wake up each morning and learn that the “snap, crackle and “pop” sounds are coming from my breakfast cereal and not my joints.

                             

SHE’S HAPPY:     To look in the bathroom mirror and smile at her reflection,  telling herself that although she's not a raving beauty, she's still special.             

I’M HAPPY:        To look in the bathroom mirror and find it so splattered with soap and toothpaste, I no longer can see my reflection and frighten myself.

SHE’S HAPPY:      To take a warm, relaxing bath before starting the day.

I’M HAPPY:          When I have enough hot water to soak anything higher than       my bunions.

SHE’S HAPPY:    To read the morning paper, enjoying the good news and

                          dismissing the bad.

I’M HAPPY:       To read the morning paper and not see my name in the

                         obituaries.

SHE’S HAPPY:     To share a nourishing breakfast with her family.

I’M HAPPY:        To find at least one slice of bread without any green on it so I can pop it into the toaster.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To see beautiful, delicate snowflakes floating past her window.

I’M HAPPY:      To have memorized the phone number of a good chiropractor so I can use it after I’ve finished shoveling 1200 tons of those    beautiful, delicate snowflakes.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To answer her phone and hear the voice of a dear friend.

I’M HAPPY:        To answer the phone and discover that for a change, it’s not

                          some guy trying to sell me a cow-of-the-month freezer plan.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To occasionally treat herself to a pretty new dress that makes

                          her feel oh-so-feminine.

I’M HAPPY:       When sweatpants and thermal underwear go on sale.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To generously make regular donations to charity.

I’M HAPPY:       If after I finish paying all of the monthly bills, I have some

                         money left over that actually folds, not jingles.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To lie in bed and listen to the rain gently falling on the roof.

I’M HAPPY:       To lie in bed and not get splashed between the eyes by the        rain gently leaking through the roof.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To plant a rock garden in her yard and watch all of the lovely      flowers bloom.

I’M HAPPY:        I’ve finally developed an immunity to poison ivy.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To treat herself  to a nice fresh apple or orange, and savor          each bite.

I’M HAPPY:       To treat myself to a five-pound bag of M&Ms and one each        of every donut sold at Dunkin’ Donuts.

SHE’S HAPPY:   When she receives a handmade gift from one of her

                          children.

I’M HAPPY:       When my dogs don’t leave me any “gifts," especially on

                         the carpet.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To run barefoot through the grass and feel its softness

                          between her toes.

I’M HAPPY:       (See my previous answer, and substitute “lawn” for “carpet”).

SHE’S HAPPY:   To hear the sweet songs of the birds in the trees.

I’M HAPPY:       When all of the squawking crows and blue jays get laryngitis.

SHE’S HAPPY:   To share all of her happy thoughts with the rest of the world via Facebook.

I’M HAPPY:       She hasn’t been cloned.

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